Eccentricize

Some of you who read my posts might have been wondering what happened to me. What has happened to the author of this blog? Is she still travelling? Is she back? How did her travels go? Was it worth it? Does she have regrets? Yes, I am back in the UK. Yes, it was worth it but for other reasons than most people might assume. No, I don’t regret travelling for seven months. But I am going to tell you something surprising. Travelling long-term is dangerous. Dangerous in a positive meaning of the word. Long-term travel has made me less complacent, more wayward, more non-conformist. Travelling solo for seven months strengthened my connection with myself and has brought me even closer to my authentic self.

Travelling solo has brought me to the core of my essence. Without the need for daily small talk with work colleagues or the pressure to mask the most original parts of who I am, I’ve been able to exist more authentically and freely than ever. The process has been liberating, enriching, empowering and expansive. Every day held the potential to follow what genuinely excited me, and that freedom has allowed me to reconnect with a better and happier version of myself.  I visited India, Thailand, Malaysia, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and Singapore.

I think that many people have a big misconception about long-term traveling. They assume it is going to result in some sort of epiphany or breakthrough. They think it is going to be incredibly transformative. I was mistaken in thinking that way too. No, travel will not change who you are. It won’t make you more social or outgoing if you are an introvert. Perhaps it will push you out of your comfort zone and will make you a bit more adventurous, but it won’t transform you from an introvert to an extrovert, from a quiet, pensive, introspective person to a social butterfly. There is a common misconception that money make people evil. No, it doesn’t. It is a neutral tool that amplifies a person’s existing traits. Same with long-term travel. Travel only amplifies our existing traits. Travelling solo for many months amplifies our deepest desires and brings us closer to our true nature.

 Long-term solo travel is definitely liberating and can lead to some profound realizations. I was surrounded by strangers every day and I could be more authentic than ever. I could be quiet, pensive, thoughtful. I did not have to pretend I was sociable. I did not have to engage in draining small talk, I did not have to mask my true self anymore. The more time I spent with myself in unfamiliar environments the more acutely aware I was becoming of the fact that I could be neurodivergent.

Realizing that I could be autistic while solo traveling was a profound experience. I think this realization stemmed from the removal of familiar masking behaviours. Behaviours and patterns I had been replicating day in and out in my 9-5 teaching job. Because I gave myself permission to strip myself of the masks, my neurodivergent traits became even more apparent. For the first time in my life, I decided to seek formal diagnosis.