Eccentricize

The longer I live in this society, the more often I notice that the system does not want people to be happy. On the opposite, the system wants people to stay unhappy. The system wants people to be stuck in 9-5 boxes, to be stuck in unhappy relationships, to eat crappy food, to be broke, to be overweight, to feel dissatisfied. Why? In my opinion the reason is simple. It is easier to manipulate unhappy people. Unhappy people tend to be lost, confused, aimless. It is easier to sell them products and services they don’t even need. Unhappiness and dissatisfaction are frequently used as psychological levers to drive overconsumption, as shopping often becomes a coping mechanism for emotional distress. It is easier to brainwash distressed people, condition them and make profit off their misery and directionlessness. Emotionally vulnerable people are easier to be manipulated because their internal defences are often lowered or compromised. The system uses a variety of tactics to manipulate people and keep them stuck, broke and unfulfilled.

School definitely does not teach us how to be happy and wealthy

When we go to school we got to learn a lot of unnecessary stuff. We read books written hundreds of years ago, which are completely unrelatable and irrelevant to our experience. We learn about medieval ages, ancient times and civil wars. While the basics like reading, writing, and math are obviously essential, a lot of the frustration comes from how rigid traditional curriculums can be. A great deal of what you learn at school is useless and a great deal of time spent in school is wasted. School does not develop students to be individuals and thinkers but adapts them to the needs of workplace. Even the subjects that are supposedly developed at school—mathematics, language, physical education—are merely skills needed by the matrix. School does not help young people develop analytical or alternative thinking, emotional intelligence, entrepreneurial skills, financial literacy, multifacetedness; everything is done in a narrow-focused, cookie-cutter way. But there is another, even more important point. School doesn’t just fail to develop essential life skills, such as emotional intelligence or healthy, well-balanced nutrition—it demands that learners accept ready-made concepts without criticism. School does not facilitate individuation but teaches conformity and obedience. The early education system was heavily influenced by industrialists who needed an obedient, punctual, and standardized workforce to keep factories running, rather than independent thinkers who might question the system. That specific phrase—”I don’t want a nation of thinkers; I want a nation of workers”—is one of the most famous quotes attributed to the 19th-century industrialist John D. Rockefeller

We are brainwashed into believing that only marriage and kids can make us truly happy

The system doesn’t want you to be happy and free. The system wants you to be obedient, mediocre, stuck, clueless and conventional. It is easy to tie the knot. But is it equally easy to untie it? You know the answer. I have nothing against marriage. I believe it can be beautiful and fulfilling. I also believe that there are many other paths in life that can be equally fulfilling, amazing and enriching. Unfortunately, other options and alternative pathways do not get societal validation and recognition. Moreover, anything that deviates from traditional paradigm is criticized and demonized. Try to opt out of marriage as a female – you will be deemed a lonely and miserable, a crazy cat lady. Even if you are perfectly happy to be on your own, the society will try to trick you into believing you that you are delusional. When I tell people I am happy to be single and childfree, they don’t believe me. They think I must be lying. People are trained from childhood to believe that you need a partner to live a happy, fulfilling life. But how many relationships are toxic, abusive, unfulfilling and mentally damaging? No one will tell you. No one will admit it to you openly. They will never tell you. The ones who are in the most unstable and unhealthy relationships will attempt to coerce you to get into one too.

There are lots of people who think it’s better to be married to literally anyone than to be alone. It’s not their fault that they think that way. The system conditions us to be scared of silence, aloneness, solitude, introspection. Have you ever worked in an office? Have you noticed how people react to one minute of silence? They get freaked out! We are not taught how to embrace silence, how to cherish solitude and how to enjoy peaceful moments. I will tell you something now – solitude and silence are empowering, they allow for introspection, reflection and creativity. Aloneness is positive, restorative, and tranquil. It is a very important tool often associated with self-work and finding peace. But the system does not want you to be empowered, it does not want you to find inner peace and harmony. Why? Because you might become too quirky, too individual, too self-sufficient, too grounded and too rebellious.

The system wants you to drown in drama, conflicts, cacophony of noises. It wants you to be tossed by external forces like a leaf in the windstorm. The system wants you to remain in the state pf perpetual emotional tumult. When you are emotionally dysregulated by stresses of demanding work, confrontational and disparaging spouse and uncooperative children, you are more likely to overconsume – food, digital content, alcohol, unhealthy ingredients.

They system creates dissatisfaction with your body image

It is incredibly common for the broader social, cultural, and digital “system” to foster body dissatisfaction. This pressure can stem from a variety of sources, including social media, commercials, advertisements. I remember I used to spend so much time agonizing over my perceived ugliness when I was younger. I was led to believe that pretty girls have soft features, cute, small noses and are slim. I was told that long; big nose and spikey chin are very unattractive on a woman. I got bullied a lot because of the way I looked. I had no one to talk about those issues when growing up. I am sure there are many teenagers and young people who scrutinize their features on a daily basis and contemplate plastic surgery. I was very close to getting nose job done. I thought that once I had a lovely, button nose, I will be prettier, and as a result more accepted, appreciated, valued and loved. In the end, I never got a rhinoplasty. Thanks God I didn’t’ get it! The reason? I couldn’t afford it when I was a teen and a teenager. It took me many years to develop enough self-awareness, self-love and self-appreciation to actually say: “Screw the beauty standards. Screw the system”. I needed therapy sessions to overcome my negative self-image caused by years of bullying. Therapy helped me a lot.

As I grew older, I realized that the system imposes a cookie-cutter approach on all aspects of human life. All people should follow the same script: study hard,  graduate, get a decent job, get married, get a mortgage, make two babies, ideally a boy and a girl, and then wait for your retirement. If you have curly hair, straighten it because curly is passe. Yey! Of course (we are secretly saying > consume more, buy more stuff you don’t really need).  Buy more straighteners, straightening conditioners, gels, creams, foams and sprays. First, the system creates a dissatisfaction in you and then it offers solutions. And the solutions they offer you cost money.  

Luckily, I have never been interested in the generic, one-size-fits all formula. I like to experiment; I like to figure out things for myself. You must understand that the system wants you to be permanently fearful, lost, broke, miserable, trapped and confused, because it is easier to manipulate unhappy and disoriented people. You must learn how to embrace your uniqueness and turn your “alleged” flaws into attributes. What’s wrong with big noses by the way? Maybe a big nose gives you an air of prominence and distinctiveness? Perhaps it complements the strength of you character? Have you ever criticized an animal for its elongated muzzle? No! Why should we judge people based on their muzzle shapes? Animal snout shapes are a masterclass in evolutionary adaptation, specially tuned for survival, diet, and environment. We are absolutely happy with this incredible diversity, as it highlights how wonderfully weird and specialized the natural world can be! Why can’t we be equally happy for diversity of human features?

The system promotes negative bias towards aging

This is one is closely related to the previous one – dissatisfaction with you body image. Society often glorifies youth while devaluing later life. Media, advertising, and casual conversations frequently rely on stereotypes of older adults being uncool, physically and mentally disintegrating, or out-of-touch. Another tactic to spread discomfort, fear and unhappiness amongst older demographics. When I was younger, I kept hearing that once you reach a certain age as a woman, you become invisible, undesirable and transparent. I dreaded turning 30 and then 40. Would you believe me if I told you that you can have the time in your life in your 40’s, 50’s, 60s and even 80s? Yes, you can. And yes, you can still look beautiful, glamourous and attractive. You can have fun and enjoy the ride. You can still try out new things. It is crucial to stay open minded, progressive, experimental and embrace all the unique and extraordinary gifts life has to offer.

Getting older is a privilege and an introspective adventure. Perception shifts and you enter the most authentic stage of your life. Recognizing that our time and energy are finite transforms how we live. This mindfulness creates a powerful shift, moving us away from living life on autopilot and into more intentional, mindful living. Becoming mature isn’t just about getting older; it’s about unlearning societal expectations and shedding the masks you wear to seek external approval. True maturity means cultivating the self-awareness to understand your genuine values, and the courage to live by them. I believe that the becoming mature is very liberating.

I’m 43 and I have run my first half-marathon this year. Now, I’m planning to sign up for my first marathon. Running the half-marathon was so exhilarating and exciting. It’s been one of the most extraordinary experiences in my life. Crowds cheering every runner on – it was unbelievable. I ran with a big smile plastered to my face. And guess what? I bought a skateboard for myself yesterday. Will I dare to defy age and gender stereotypes and ride it in the public space? Would you dare to learn how to ride a skateboard in public in your 40s or 50s?